Thursday, April 14, 2011

Tech Marketing Buzzphrases I Hate

I realize that a certain amount of tech industry lingo is required to describe products, but many of today's popular buzz phrases are particularly grating to me. The current ones on my hate list, taken from actual press releases:
  • rich customer experience
  • thriving ecosystem
  • search (as a noun)
  • feature-rich
  • immersive
  • empower
  • burgeoning ecosystem
  • powerful tool
  • best-in-class
  • premium media experience
  • social media
  • thinking about the market holistically
  • creating an ecosystem
  • deeper phone integration
Microsoft writers in particular love to use the word rich. "Rich text," "rich features," "rich ecosystem." Gag.

Looking for a winner, after dumping "rich deep immersive thriving ecosystem" into Google I come up with this page, which has it all.
The company’s Thriving Partner Ecosystem™ provides the ultimate network of best-in-class ecommerce solutions providers to deliver a rich, immersive experience expected by today’s savvy web shoppers.
(I didn't include eyeballs, user-friendly and click-thru because this is 2011, not 1998.

11 comments:

This Blog Is Not Here said...

Don't forget "Convergent""harness" and "synergy". I'm not asking you do subvert the dominant paradigm here Lou but you left a couple biggies out.

Rorschach said...

and don't forget the most irritating buzzword of all "Sustainable"

deskmerc said...

Cloud. Just...cloud.

NoVa Sideliner said...

From the page you noted:

"... Thriving Partner Ecosystem™ of best-of-breed technology and service partners, intergration with social networks like FaceBook®..."

Using spell check is soooo last decade.

Anonymous said...

"GREEN". So. tired. of. green.
I think the term "soilent green" was an unintentional foreshadowing of this. Eat your soilent green!

Wanglese said...

I dares ya to read this:

Thinking about the market holisticly, convergent feature-rich best-in-class technologies provide a thriving, burgeoning ecosystem of immersive integrative social media synergies.
Deeper phone integration empowers end-users of cloud technologies to provide a rich customer experience for todays tech-savvy web shoppers.

As we continue to roll-out emerging technologies, we will be able to create, share, and enjoy thriving ecosystems aimed at both niche markets as well as the wider communities that will embrace the fine user-friendly click-thru experiences.
Through our enabling technologies, we are committed to providing the tools to empower developers to provide feature rich solutions by allowing them to concentrate on rapid development and delivery cycles, instead of spending time cutting and debugging code.

There, I got it out of my system.

Bogalusan said...

Leverage.

spork said...

At the end of the day, we will be able to pick the low hanging fruit.

Dan from Madison said...

+1 on leverage, used the most I see when saying "leveraging assets"

Dan from Madison said...

And hell, what about +1?

Anonymous said...

I can't stand the term "user experience", talk about a way to try and justify your already useless internet company. When I read a magazine, I don't have a "magazine experience". God I hate internet companies!!!!