2011 Predictions

My 2011 guesses. I think the first and third guesses are obvious ones.

• Republicans fail at their attempts to repeal Obamacare. However, they are able to push through some minor tweaks.
• Barack Obama's team attempts a re-branding campaign. No public photos of Obama eating ice cream or playing golf will be seen in 2011. Arugula is out, replaced with steak and hamburgers. In 2011, Obama will project a macho image.
  
• Republicans fail at their pledge to reign in the budget deficit, but the growth is slowed somewhat. Republicans will try to brag about this.
• A major hurricane will strike the Texas Gulf coast.
• A prominent California blogger and his former wife will be arrested for mortgage fraud.
• Chevrolet will shock naysayers by ramping up production of the Volt due to strong demand.
• An American will take the helm at Toyota.
• Bill Clinton collapses during a speaking engagement after having a stroke.
• Elton John settles in Las Vegas and becomes the house act at the Venetian.
• Gold prices will continue to surge, peaking in April. It will end the year below $700.
• Shocking celebrity deaths: John Goodman and Prince.
• Oil prices will skyrocket during the first quarter of 2011, then collapse to below $40/barrel.
• Hype about tablets comes to an end after Samsung and HP products flop. iPad sales flatten and market analysts discover that demand is limited to Apple's existing core of monied customers. The new Apple TV flops, while the new iPhone helps Apple regain top spot in the smartphone wars. Apple studies the idea of spinning off the media side of their business into a new company (iTunes, Inc.) that is less dependent upon Apple and more platform-agnostic.
• A major US newspaper will shock the industry by announcing free home delivery.
• The Dead Kennedys get back together to re-work California Über Alles in honor of the new governor. They fail spectacularly as everyone realizes that the Dead Kennedys still suck and have no real talent and Jello Biafra is not as clever and astute as he thinks he is.
• Best Buy removes packaged software from its shelves.
• Amazon Kindle price breaks the $100 barrier, making the e-reader one of the biggest tech stories of 2011. Market analysts are stunned at the success and Amazon stock adjusts accordingly.
• Disaster strikes the new high-speed rail system in China due to construction defects.
• Hugo Chavez continues to consolidate his power and launches a series of military strikes against border areas in Columbia in order to gin up patriotic fervor.
• Mahmoud Ahmadinejad hires a fashion consultant to give him a more polished, less threatening appearance.
• War in the Korean Peninsula. Kim the Fat, in order to show everyone that he has balls of steel like his weird father, orders the shelling of a ROK village, resulting in a massive ROK response to targets within 10 km of the DMZ. North Korea opens fire on Seoul with artillery, but wholesale destruction of the city is avoided as US and ROK forces launch a stunning counter-attack and destroy over 10,000 pieces of artillery within 24 hours. North Korean officers flee back to Pyongyang, leaving behind 300,000 weary, starving soldiers, who promptly give up. A new cease-fire is called, resulting in a new DMZ that is 40 km north of the old one, giving Seoul a much better protective cushion.
• Many new jobs and new businesses will emerge in Florida to salvage the thousands of empty houses built in 2005-2007 that have been damaged due to heat and humidity. Houses will be so cheap in Florida that the glut will be cleared faster than expected thanks to the surge of government retirees from the Northeast and Midwest looking for a low-cost place to live due to their shrinking pension checks. In fact, even the most bearish of bears will realize that 2011 marks the first year of undeniable recovery, except in places like coastal California, Washington, Oregon and the DC area.
• Gut-wrenching economic times will visit Canada, Brazil and Australia, with housing prices down at least 20% by December. Housing will go on to crash another 40% in these countries over the following 2 years.
• It is discovered that China is essentially run by gangsters. This year the world will finally see the full scale of China's problems with malinvestment, and it will shock even those of us who try to keep up with events there.
• Julian Assange will be charged in the US federal courts. Not for espionage, but with fraud. Investigators will discover that Assange has been going short against the companies he threatens to expose, particularly Bank of America. He is extradited to New York, no longer the hero that he once was.
• Greece, Portugal, Spain and Ireland will say goodbye to the Euro.